“Stuck” is one of the most powerless places to be, and yet there are some very simple things you can do, to get yourself “un-stuck” and start moving forward.
Check out the short video below to learn what you can do now, to get some momentum back in your life
Makes 12-18 balls
1/2C Desiccated coconut
1/2C Carob powder
1/4C Chopped almonds
1/4C Dried cranberries (or any other dried fruit you like)
Extra coconut for rolling
Mix tahini, coconut, carob, almonds and cranberries together in a bowl
Slowly add a small amount of water at a time, until the mixture holds together. If you add too much and it’s too wet, just add some more coconut or carob to absorb it
Roll into balls and coat in the extra coconut
Store in the refrigerator or freezer
I personally find these sweet enough, as carob is naturally sweet, however you can add up to 1/4C honey if you like. If you do this, you may not need to add the water to hold the mixture together
If you don’t like carob, you can easily substitute cacao, although if you do, you will more than likely need to add the honey as cacao is quite bitter
Store in the fridge or freezer
You’ve heard before that it takes 21 days to create a new habit, right? Well, if you’ve ever stuck to something for 21 days only to have that new habit fall apart on you, this might explain why and help you stay on track for future goals.
Firstly, according to neuroscience (which deals with the function of the nervous system and the brain), it takes anywhere between 66 and 365 days for a new pattern in your brain to become a network that runs automatically.
So, for that new pattern to become an unconscious habit (meaning, you don’t have to think about it, or put conscious effort into doing it. It’s just something you do automatically, like driving a car) it takes anywhere from 2.5 months to 1 whole year, not 21 days!
Think about how often you’ve gone to a course, read a book or listened to a podcast and gotten really inspired and motivated to make a change. And you do, but after a few days, or weeks, that initial enthusiasm has faded, reality kicks in, it feels “too hard”, or like it takes “too much time or effort”, and you let it slip for 1 day, then 2, then 3 and then it’s gone completely. You think it didn’t
work, when you just didn’t do it long enough to create the new habit.
Secondly, one of the most critical pieces in creating unconscious, or automated, habits and behaviours is repetition. We need to repeatedly do the thing we are wanting to install, over and over and over. This is how our new neural pathways get created and solidified, and it’s how we train our thoughts and emotions to align with what we are wanting to create. So when we do something 10 times, it’s nowhere near as powerful as doing it 100 times, or 365 times, and when we take a day off, it has a big impact. Consistency is key here – do the same thing every day. Build the repetition and that habit embeds deeper and more powerfully.
Know that whenever we take on a new habit or behaviour, there’s the initial enthusiasm and energy, followed by challenge and resistance. If, in these times of resistance, we remember that it takes between 66 and 365 days for that new habit to become fully automated, and that repetition is one of the most critical pieces, this can help us stay on track and continue to do what needs to be done today, so we can have what we want tomorrow.
Now go create some awesome new habits, and keep going until you get them locked down!
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I recently moved up to Queensland and have been busy settling in, making new friends and creating a new life for myself here, which involves surfing as much as possible!
I love it up here, and whilst it’s not been without it’s challenges (seriously, moving interstate, where I knew no-one or nothing about the area, 1 week before Christmas and right after a break up?? Not the easiest of transitions!!) it’s been a beautiful opportunity for me to practice everything I teach. A few years ago, this situation would have had me locked away, depressed, lonely and emotionally eating to numb out or absolutely smashing myself in the gym to avoid feeling my feelings.
Those feelings still showed up, and that old instinct to do those avoidance behaviours were triggered, but I was able to recognise them, show them some compassion and then set about taking care of myself in the ways I was really craving.
For me, this looked like getting out of the house and into nature, moving my body lovingly every day, surfing as much as possible, getting in the ocean every day, daily qi-gong and meditation, clearing my chakras and my energy field, joining Meetup groups in my area, going to their events and connecting with people I was drawn to, saying yes to any social invitations (and going!), being open and receptive to meeting people when I’m out and about, nourishing myself with awesome food and enough sleep, asking for introductions to friends of friends who live in the area, and reaching out and asking for support from loved ones around the country when I felt really challenged or helpless.
Let me be clear – this took work. It would have been so much easier to stay at home, binge watching TV and binge eating whatever I could get my hands on. But we know where that path ends, and it isn’t pretty.
I wanted a new life, and the only way that was going to happen was if I made it happen. No one was going to do it for me. There was never going to be a “right-time”. It was never going to be without effort. This was a huge growth opportunity for me, and I was going to have to stretch.
And you know what? Within 1 month, I have a awesome group of friends with similar interests and values, who are so much fun to be around, I’m dating and meeting gorgeous men, my surfing is getting better, AND I have 5 blocks of chocolate in my fridge, that I haven’t touched since before I moved up here (this still spins me out, as only a few years ago, if there was chocolate in the house, I was eating ALL of it. In one go)
With the right steps in place, and the willingness to stretch, you can turn around any challenging situation so that you are empowered, supported and in control, rather than powerless and numbing out with food. Now, I’m not saying it’s easy, because it does take consistent work, but it IS simple.
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It’s simple, it’s basic, and can serve as a great reminder of what to focus on, rather than punishing yourself with some crazy restrictive diet. Not only that, the strategies presented are powerful…..but you have to implement them consistently for them to work!
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The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which one wins?”
The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”
It’s so easy to feed the evil wolf; to get stuck in our story about why things are the way they are, why we’ll never be good enough to have the things we want. It’s easy to point the finger and blame people and things, and to resent others for their success; to feel jealous of their good fortune. It’s easy to stay stuck in our anger, and our stories around all the ways we were hard done by. It’s easy to criticise ourselves; to put ourselves down, to tell ourselves why we don’t deserve the things we want, to be mean to ourselves.
It’s easy because we are taught from a young age to feed this wolf. We’re SO experienced at feeding this wolf, that it’s now a habit, it’s unconscious, we easily slip into these old ways and patterns of behaviour, and a lot of the time, we don’t even realise we’re doing it!
It’s easy to feed that wolf, but living that life is anything BUT easy. It’s hard – REALLY hard. We keep ourselves isolated and disconnected. We keep ourselves small, and give away our power. We play victim. We never get to have the things we want, or if we do, we never fully enjoy them. Resentment, powerlessness, anger, lies, greed, inferiority all create tension in the body which block the flow of our life force energy. Over time, this block creates injury, illness, disease, and weight gain.
It takes courage to come from love; to be grateful and appreciative for all that we have, to trust that everything will work out for us, to know that we too can change our life and create that which our hearts most desire. Forgiveness takes courage. Loving ourselves takes courage; treating ourselves with respect, being kind to ourselves, appreciating all the things our body does for us on a daily basis – are all hard to do when you live in a world that tells you you are not enough or worthy of any of that until you look a certain way. It takes strength and courage to feed this wolf, to live this life – Do you think it’s worth it?
We’re told it’s good for us. We’re told which exercise is the best for calorie burning, weight loss, building muscle…..you name it, there’s an exercise that’s best for it.
We’re told how often we should exercise, and for how long, and at what intensity.
And so, like good little girls that we are, we say “Ok, so if I want to lose weight, I have to exercise at these times, for this long, and doing this type of exercise”. We’re committed, we want that result, so we suck it up and get on with it.
We HATE that particular type of exercise, and that time of day doesn’t work for us, and today my body is tired and sore and doesn’t actually want to be smashed in an exercise session.
But we persist anyway.
There is another way, you know……