How To Get Un-Stuck and Change Your Life

“Stuck” is one of the most powerless places to be, and yet there are some very simple things you can do, to get yourself “un-stuck” and start moving forward.

Check out the short video below to learn what you can do now, to get some momentum back in your life

The 2 Things You Need To Know To Create a New Habit

You’ve heard before that it takes 21 days to create a new habit, right? Well, if you’ve ever stuck to something for 21 days only to have that new habit fall apart on you, this might explain why and help you stay on track for future goals.

Firstly, according to neuroscience  (which deals with the function of the nervous system and the brain), it takes anywhere between 66 and 365 days for a new pattern in your brain to become a network that runs automatically.

So, for that new pattern to become an unconscious habit (meaning, you don’t have to think about it, or put conscious effort into doing it. It’s just something you do automatically, like driving a car) it takes anywhere from 2.5 months to 1 whole year, not 21 days!

Think about how often you’ve gone to a course, read a book or listened to a podcast and gotten really inspired and motivated to make a change. And you do, but after a few days, or weeks, that initial enthusiasm has faded, reality kicks in, it feels “too hard”, or like it takes “too much time or effort”, and you let it slip for 1 day, then 2, then 3 and then it’s gone completely. You think it didn’t
work, when you just didn’t do it long enough to create the new habit.

Secondly, one of the most critical pieces in creating unconscious, or automated, habits and behaviours is repetition. We need to repeatedly do the thing we are wanting to install, over and over and over. This is how our new neural pathways get created and solidified, and it’s how we train our thoughts and emotions to align with what we are wanting to create. So when we do something 10 times, it’s nowhere near as powerful as doing it 100 times, or 365 times, and when we take a day off, it has a big impact. Consistency is key here – do the same thing every day. Build the repetition and that habit embeds deeper and more powerfully.

Know that whenever we take on a new habit or behaviour, there’s the initial enthusiasm and energy, followed by challenge and resistance. If, in these times of resistance, we remember that it takes between 66 and 365 days for that new habit to become fully automated, and that repetition is one of the most critical pieces, this can help us stay on track and continue to do what needs to be done today, so we can have what we want tomorrow.

Now go create some awesome new habits, and keep going until you get them locked down!

Why you haven’t gotten what you want yet

Have you ever wanted something so bad, you can taste it, you can see it, you can feeeeeeel it. You set about going about making it happen – you tell others, maybe make some enquiries, google a few things, take some action….. but for some reason, you just haven’t gotten what you want yet.

And it’s driving you crazy! You don’t understand, I mean, what else can you do? Why hasn’t it happened already? Why is it so hard for you? Why does it feel like you take 3 steps forward, and 5 steps back. Why does everyone else seem to have it so easy?

It’s enough to make you give it all up and go back to your not-so-fulfilling, same-old-same-old life BD (before your dream).

But, before you do that, promise me you’ll watch this video. PROMISE?? It’ll give some powerful insight into why this is happening, AND what you can do about it. Understand and follow these principles and I guarantee things will shift for you. Yep. Guarantee.

Click below to check it out. You promised 🙂

Oh No, What Have I Done?

I woke up yesterday with a little knot in the bottom of my belly, and one thought running through my head ~

 F**k, what have I done?

 You’ve been there right? You know that feeling ~ It comes on right after you make some sort of big statement, commit to something, or lock in something that’s a stretch for the person you are now.

In the past, this feeling, this thought, would stop me dead in my tracks, causing me to back pedal like a cartoon character. I’d do whatever I could to get myself out of whatever it was I’d recklessly committed myself to. Seriously, how could I have been so stupid to think that I’d be capable of that? You smoking crack girl??

I would be paralysed by the fear of being seen, of failing, of something unknown.

So I’d shrink, rushing straight back inside the safety of my comfort zone, where I could stay small, unseen, unchallenged.

Now I know this feeling is the exact feeling I want for my life.

This feeling lets me know that whatever I’ve committed to ~ whatever crazy idea I’ve come up with ~ is the thing that’s going to help me to grow. I feel this because it’s outside of my comfort zone ~ there are things I’m going to have to learn and implement to make this possible and I’m going to have to get to work to make it happen. I’m going to have to challenge things I previously believed. I’ll butt up against the myriad ways I limit myself, and I’ll have to find ways to release those shackles. I’ll have to do things that feel awkward for me. It’ll be a huge stretch for me, but if I weren’t capable of it, I wouldn’t have had the idea in the first place.

I first learned about this concept through one of my first coaches, and now dear friend, Peter Shaw. His life and business philosophy is “If it’s scary and exciting, do it”.

Why?

If something is just scary, there’s probably a great reason why you shouldn’t do that thing. It’s your intuition, the universe, or God, telling you Hey! Stay away! Your life is in danger in some way if you continue down this path.

If something is just exciting, by all means feel free to do it, but just know that it is inside your comfort zone. It’s easy for you, and therefore you don’t have to grow in order to do it.

However, when you come up with that beautiful blend of scary and exciting, you have found something that will take you closer to the person you want to become. Pursuing it will cause you to grow in ways you don’t even know are possible, and it will be the catalyst for great change in your life. It takes courage to adopt and live by the Scary and Exciting philosophy, but it is so worth it.

So now, rather than that feeling turning me around and shoving back inside my box, I allow it to motivate me and nudge me forward ~ into discomfort, learning and growth. Into freedom.

  • What are 3 things that are scary and exciting for you?
  • Which one will you commit to now, and see how it plays out?

Want to know what the decision was that prompted my latest Scary and Exciting feeling? Keep your eyes peeled next week for all the juicy goss. It’s so exciting. And so scary. And is going to be so fun. And I’m going to need your help to pull it off! And I wonder how many more times I can start another sentence with and. And I’m stopping now.

Is the scary of your scary and exciting just too big for you? Unsure of how to move with that fear? Get in touch, I love helping people move through fear to bring dreams into reality. Or contact Peter Shaw. He’s the king of Scary and Exciting. 

xx

You Know What You Need

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So often, when faced with a challenging situation, we respond with I don’t know. Stop it! This is such a cop out, and is utterly untrue, in any situation.

 In every single moment, you know exactly what you need to move forward.

 When you I don’t know, you are hiding. You are avoiding what you know to be true. Acknowledging means you have to act, and acting means you have to get out of your comfort zone ~ maybe have an awkward conversation, maybe say no to something you previously said yes to, maybe you have to start over ~ and that scares you, so you hide.

 However, in your hiding, you sign yourself up for greater discomfort. You are saying Yes, I’m happy to sit here in limbo; to give up my power, my freedom of choice, and to hand control over to someone else. I’m happy to wait.

 When you say I don’t know you shut down your knowing. In effect, you are rejecting yourself; rejecting what you want, rejecting what you need and rejecting who you are.

You always know what you need, you’ve just forgotten how to listen.

 Throughout your life, you have had your knowing taught out of you. You were taught to distrust your feelings, and to place the utmost importance on what you think.

 Figure it out ~ Think about it ~ Make sense of this ~ Mull it over

 These all ask you to make sense of something; to logically understand and explain, and to do the right thing.

 Every second, you are bombarded with millions of different pieces of information. It’s overwhelming! How can you possibly make sense of all that information and figure out what’s right for you, when so much of what you hear conflicts with what you’ve heard before? My brain hurts even thinking about it!

 The problem is, what is right for you ~ what you need ~ doesn’t always make sense. In fact, it’s usually the opposite of what makes sense. There’s rarely anything logical about it.

 Rather than fighting ~ rather than needing to make sense ~ what if you could just go with it? What if you allowed yourself to know exactly what you need, and then acted on it?

 But Brooke! I truly don’t know what I need! I hear you, and I’m calling BS, and I want you to call it also. Stop hiding. You do know.

 Think about your options, or your situation, and pay attention to how you feel. Which outcome makes you feel expansive? Which shuts you down? What energises you? What drains you?

Don’t get caught in the details here. You don’t need to figure that out, you just need to know what you want. Let go of the How. (Need help with this? Read this)

 If you let yourself know, what would that look like?

 Own what you know to be true for you. Let go of the need for your choice to make sense, or to do the right thing by someone else. Don’t do what you should do, do what you want to do. Focus less on how your decision affects someone else, and ask; How does this affect me, and my life?

What is right for you is right for everyone else

…..even if they don’t see it yet and even if someone gets hurt in the process (obviously we’d love it if no-one was ever affected negatively by our choices, but in reality, that rarely happens. Treat everyone with love and respect, but don’t let others’ emotions affect your decision). Always be honest, first with yourself, and then by sharing that with those around you, even if it stings a little now. They’ll thank you in the long run.

 I don’t know is powerless. Stop it.

 You do know. Allow yourself to know. And then allow yourself to act.

 

  •  Where have you been I don’t know-ing yourself?
  • What have you been hiding from?
  • What are you going to do with that information now? 

Love

Brooke xx

 PS; Still stuck on this? Want help? Get in touch. This is one of my specialties, and I’d love to help you know.

Can You Be Happy Without Sex?


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I picked up the Sunday magazine last week and as I glanced over the cover, one headline caught my eye – Can you be happy without sex? Sex usually catches my attention.

Right now, you’re either saying one of two things to yourself – Yes, I haven’t had sex in a while, and I’m happy or your response is a flat out No.

Those of you with the latter response, you may continue about your day. Go forth and orgasm deeply.

For the rest of you, sit down. We need to talk.

What’s the big deal with sex?

You can take it or leave it. You’re not that fussed by it. Maybe it’s been so long you can’t even really remember what it feels like. It’s nice and all, but you’re fine without it, right?

Except, you’re not. If you were honest, you’d see your life kinda sucks right now. You’re stale in your career or business. Paying off your debt, or getting that pay-rise is a constant yearning that is never fulfilled. Your optimal health and fitness is just out of reach, and your ideal weight? Forget about it.

Sexual energy is life force energy

Without your sexual juices flowing, everything else dries up too – creativity, inspiration, motivation, excitement and energy – dried up, shrunk down, left the building.

Sex is the ultimate pleasure. You came here through sex. The whole human race exists because of sex, and it cannot continue to exist without sex.

 And you think you’re fine without it?

Just to clarify, I am not saying that sex is the way to happiness, and that you have to carry on like a hormonal teenager to be happy. There may be times when you consciously choose to abstain from sex for a certain purpose, or to achieve a certain goal, and that can be beneficial. However, if you’ve just somehow found yourself in a rut, missing this vital piece, don’t kid yourself. Your life will be lacking in some way. You will not experience the fullness, the richness, and the deliciousness of what life has to offer you.

As a society, we are severely under-pleasured. Not just sexual pleasure, but any and all types of pleasure. You have been lead to believe pleasure is bad – pleasure will make you fat, pleasure will get you into trouble – and so you have restricted the amount of pleasure you feel in your everyday. But here’s the thing; you need more pleasure in your life, not less. Pleasure is not the enemy. Deprivation is. You are so under-pleasured, you turn to bingeing on chocolate, ice cream, wine, TV, rom-coms, (insert your vice here) just to feel something.

 You need to start experiencing more pleasure on a daily basis

And what better way than through a little hanky-panky.

Now, before you say That’s fine for you, but I don’t have anyone to get freaky with, stand yourself up, walk over to a mirror and take a peek. Say Hello. You are someone to get freaky with. Start on your pleasure hunt today. The more you are willing to give yourself the pleasure you are so starved for, the quicker you’ll call in someone else who wants to pleasure you, and the easier it’ll be for you to let them know exactly how they can pleasure you.

The more sex you have, the more sex you will have.

You didn’t come here for fine. You weren’t put here, in this body, at this time, on this planet, for fine. Do you know what the odds of you being born are? One in 400,000,000,000 (that’s 4 hundred trillion) Think about that for a second. One in 400,000,000,000.

 You did not come here for fine.

You came here to create something amazing; to experience joy, pleasure, ecstasy, connection and communion. Embark on your return to sex. Start your pleasure hunt today, and get those juices flowing in all areas of your life.

  • Where do feel dried up, stale, stagnant in your life?
  • How can you go about bringing more sex into your life?
  • Have you started having sex after a dry-spell, and noticed the flow on effects in other life areas?

Love

Brooke x

How Your Desires Become Reality

Are you someone who comes up with brilliant ideas, only to get stuck in the HOW, subsequently freaking out and giving up?

How will this work? How can I fit it in? How can I afford it? How can I make money off this?

Me too. Or, at least, I used to be. But I’ve learnt something along my way:

The HOW is none of your business.

Right now, at this moment in time, you can’t possibly know all the internal and external factors that will show up to support your vision. You can’t know the people you will meet, the opportunities you will be presented with, the information you will learn, the advancements in technologies that are coming (for instance, did you know there is now the technology to allow you to charge your phone, wirelessly? Yep. No chords, no power points and full battery charge. Incredible).

There are an infinite number of things going on out there that you have no idea about, and so, to try and plan every little detail is useless at best, and, at worst, extremely limiting.

When we get stuck in the HOW, we get overwhelmed. That idea that initially felt brilliant now seems too big, too risky and too uncertain. We don’t get the answers we want, we don’t get the reassurance and the guarantee we were looking for, and so we give up. We put aside our dreams and desires, and we go back to our ‘safe’ life. At least there we know how things play out (same old, same old).

In the words of Pretty Woman, “Big mistake. Huge”

Externally, life is uncertain. There are no guarantees. There is so much unknown.

So how do we hold onto our dreams in the face of this?

Your certainty comes from within. Your guarantee comes from yourself.

 Firstly, get clear, and I mean, super-duper, crystal clear on what it is you want. Is this something you actually want, or something you’ve been told you should have/do? Are you willing to do what it takes to achieve this? What are you prepared to give up in order to have it?

Next, think about the type of person who gets to have, or do, this thing. What qualities, or traits, do they posses? Who are they?

Then it’s your job to show up, every day, being that person. Embodying those same qualities and character traits.

From here, take the first step towards getting what you want, and watch for the next step to appear (it always does). Repeat as often as necessary, and as you do, pay attention to the people, opportunities and situations that are placed in front of you. If they serve you and your vision, take them.

 Let go and let God (whatever God means for you)

Let go of needing to know, of needing reassurance, of needing a guarantee.

Be who you need to be and surrender the process

When you are clear on where you are going and what you want, and when you consistently show up as someone who already has that same thing, the HOW is figured out for you. All you need to do is keep saying yes, and keep taking the next step.

Your turn;

  • Where in your life are you currently feeling stuck in the HOW?
  • When you think about the person who gets to have, or do, the thing you want, what are the top 3 qualities they possess?
  • How can you embody these same three qualities in your life, starting right now

Leave a comment below and let me know. I love hearing from you!

With Love and Desire,

Brooke xx

 

PS: I currently have 2 coaching spots available at my 2014 rates, but only until 15th March 2015. After which, all sessions will revert to my 2015 rates. If you are tired of living an edited life, and want to step up, play bigger and connect to what is truly important to you, whilst having a bucket load of fun in the process, get in touch. I’d love to speak to you.

 

 

 

2015 Kickstarter Sessions

2015

Welcome to 2015!

I hope you had a lovely time celebrating the holidays and relaxing with your loved ones.

I had a beautiful break; lots of relaxing, beaching, family and friends time and many afternoon naps. I also got back into surfing regularly, which has been so much fun! I’m very far from winning any surfing awards, but there is just something so magical about being in the ocean.

How was your 2014?

For me, the second half of 2014 was all about letting go; of people, commitments and things that no longer serve me.

Now, whilst the letting go process can be messy, uncomfortable and confronting, it is also incredibly liberating and exciting.

By letting go, we create space for something new, something more aligned with who we want to be, where we want to go and what we want to do. Something bigger. Something better.

This might come in the form of a new relationship or friendship, a new job, more clients, a pay rise, travel opportunities, education opportunities or new hobbies, even free stuff! It could be anything, but unless we make the space for it, it can’t show up.

The start of a new year holds an incredible energy for clarifying what you want for the next 12 months, and setting powerful intentions around that. You know what you want to leave behind from the past year, but do you know how to leave it behind? How to not let it cling on and haunt your efforts for 2015? Do you know what it is you want to create this year? Do you know how to build it? Or maybe you know exactly what you want, but for some reason you just can’t seem to get started on it.

Well, never fear, gorgeous! I have the solution.

For the next 3 weeks only, I am offering the “2015 Kickstarter Sessions” – targeted, focused and powerful, one-on-one, butt kicking, heart opening, and soul driven mentoring to get you set up for your best year ever.

Over 2 x 60minute sessions you will:

  • Release the shit you’ve built up and held onto from 2014
  • Take the lessons and gifts of 2014, and use them to catapult yourself forward faster than a Jamaican at the Olympics
  • Get crystal clear on what you want to create in 2015 – no matter how big or small – and leave knowing exactly what to do each day, week and month to make it happen
  • Schedule your year to ensure your highest priority activities (anyone say holidays?)actually happen
  • Ignite your energy and excitement; for yourself, for your life and for your future
  • Eliminate the excess; streamline your life and stop wasting your time, energy and money.

The 2015 Kickstarter is perfect for you if you;

  • Have never experienced coaching before, and want to know what all the fuss is about
  • Have previously had coaching, but complacency and busy-ness has slowed down your progress, or halted it completely
  • Can’t quite muster up the motivation or commitment to get started on that idea, or project, that has been brewing away inside you
  • Are sick of saying “I can’t”, “If only” or “I’ve always wanted to….”
  • Don’t want your fear, doubt and worry keep you from happiness, success and love any longer
  • Want to start saying YES to life. To your life. Right now.
  • Are ready to play a bigger game in 2015

Want in?

Simply send an email with “Hell yeah I do!” in the subject line and we’ll get you set up.

Need to Know:

  • Investment Total: $350
  • Session Location: Anywhere you are! All sessions are held via phone or Skype
  • Session Times: weekday mornings, midday and evenings and weekends
  • Session Payment: Due in advance via direct debit transfer
  • **Limited slots available**

All sessions must be booked, paid for and completed in January 2015

This offer is only available for January 2015. I am heading overseas in February and once I go, this opportunity goes with me, so hit reply now and let’s do this!

Wishing you an incredible 2015

With Love,

Brooke xx

**This is a rapid fire approach to get your year underway powerfully and quickly, so please only apply if you are willing, ready and able**

Get Connected, Man!

We are so connected these days – connected through our smart phones, through the internet, through our LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts – and yet, we still lack connection.

As humans, we long for connection.  We realise we are connected, I mean, we are reachable 24/7, but what we don’t realise, is how much this disconnects us. It disconnects us from human interaction, from intimacy; from looking into someone’s eyes and feeling what it’s like to be in their presence, from sharing a little bit of ourselves and having that be seen, be received, and given back.

We desire this connection, yet we go through our day missing millions of little instances where we could so easily connect with the people we come into contact with, with the world around us.

How often do you run through your day, blinkers on, focused on what you have to do – because we’re all busy, right? We’ve all got a tonne of stuff to do, somewhere else we need to get to – so we rush from home to work, to the gym, back to work, out to dinner, back home. Our days are so jam-packed that we don’t spend any time, or we spend very little time, in the present moment.

When was the last time you actually looked your bus driver, or your barista, or the sales girl, or your receptionist, in the eyes, and stopped, literally stopped, what you were doing, and said hello? Connected with them? Asked them how their day is going?

Now, this doesn’t need to be a lengthy conversation, or a big, openhearted ‘deep and meaningful’ about your dreams and fears and whatever else is going on for you. But could you just take an extra 60, 120, 180 seconds, to actually connect with the person that’s in front of you; to recognise and acknowledge that the person in front of you is a person, a human being, a soul, on their journey, doing the best they can in this moment and yearning for connection as much as you are yearning for connection.

If you can take the time to honour all that within them, how much richer is your life experience?

Imagine doing that 5, 10, 20 times a day; just taking an extra minute or two to actually see the person that’s in front of you.

How do you think your day would feel then? How much more connected, and seen, would you feel?

For the rest of today, and this week, become aware of how many times in your day you don’t connect; how many times you’re too busy, too in your head and focused on where you’re going and what you’ve got to do next. Be aware of how much time you spend there (don’t worry if it’s the majority of your day – that’s the same for most people!) and then play around with slowing down, with connecting, with seeing whomever, or whatever is in front of you. Notice what’s different. Notice how you feel after taking that time, and then, look for even more ways to connect.

I would love to know how you go with this! In the comments below, let me know:

  • How often in your day you disconnect, and get lost in your head, your thoughts, and your to-do list
  • 3 specific situations that you can use today, to connect with someone in your life.
  • And if you have taken that time to connect with someone, what did that feel like? What was different for you?

Have an amazing, connected week.

Brooke x

Why I Love Feeling Jealous

Envy. Jealousy. The green eyed monster.

These are all bad, negative emotions, right?

Well, actually, they are all just emotions – that is, energy in motion, or a feeling with a thought attached.  Emotions are just a sensation in our body, they are neither good, nor bad, they just are.

Unfortunately, we have been led to believe that some emotions are bad, or good, and so we attach meaning, and a story to them.

  • “I am unlovable because I am angry”
  • “I feel jealous of her/him, so there must be something wrong with me”
  • “I can’t be sad or others won’t want to spend time with me”

These stories are what keeps us stuck in the emotion, and because we believe it to be a “bad” emotion, we stay stuck in a shitty place.

We feel jealous, and so we tell ourselves we are a bad person. Then we feel shame and guilt that we aren’t more evolved to not feel the jealousy. We push all of this down, because we don’t want anyone to see this awful part of ourselves, because who could love that? And we end up in a stinking swamp of shame, guilt, jealousy and frustration, because we should know better.

What if there was another way? What if we could feel whatever it is that is coming up for us, without having to name it, or hide it, or go into the story around it?

I think of emotions as teachers. They are a physical sensation within our body, that are telling us something. If we can allow ourselves to fully feel that emotion, and to listen for what it is telling us, we can use it as our guide, and then, let it go.

So now, I love it when I feel jealous. Rather than making my jealousy mean I am somehow “less than” the person I am jealous of, or that they are better than me, I see that my jealousy is showing me something that I want in my life. It’s lit a little spark of recognition within me, that what I’ve seen in someone else is what I want for me. Now I have that clarity, I can set about making that a reality for me.

The coolest part?

We can only recognise something in someone else that we have within ourselves.

Whatever it is you are jealous of, the fact you recognised that in someone else, means you are capable of that, and you already have that within you. The very fact that you desire it means it is absolutely meant for you. Now that you have this recognition, it’s your job to bring that out for the rest of the world to see.

So the next time you feel jealous, be grateful. Grateful for the lesson. Grateful you know now what it is you want, and where you need to be spending your time and energy. Recognise and honour the fact that you already have it within you. And get to work making it your reality!

I would love to hear from you! In the comments below, let me know what it is you are currently feeling jealous about, and what are 3 ways you are going to go about bringing that into your life.

Still feeling yucky? I’d love to help – contact me and let me know what I can do for you.