We Need to Love the Most When We Feel We Deserve it the Least

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Recently I had a few frustrating and challenging weeks (if you’re into astrology, you can blame Mercury Retrograde. If you’re not, then it was just a shitty few weeks), and during that time, I noticed how much I wanted to hide because things weren’t going so great.

I had a phone date with my oldest friend who lives overseas at the moment. This woman knows me better than anyone, and loves me more than anyone, really loves the real me. We have been through the wringer together, and seen the best, and the worst of each other. I know there’s nothing I could say that would make her love me less. In fact, the more I show my flaws, the more she loves me.

Even so, I didn’t call her. I wanted to hide, even from her. I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t want to be vulnerable, and it made me realise that even after all the work I’ve done, and all the work I do with you, my tribe, how fragile we can still be sometimes; how scary it is to be vulnerable, and how our natural tendency is to hide because we don’t feel good enough. We don’t feel worthy to be seen, or to be loved, and so we hide.

Hiding makes it worse. It adds to our isolation. In those times, when we feel less than, what we are looking for is the knowledge that we are ok, that we are enough. We want to be loved. We are looking for comfort, for understanding and yet we shut ourselves off from the very people, and the very situations, that could give us those things.

I wanted to share this with you because I‘m working on not hiding. I really want to live this life where I am raw and real and naked and vulnerable. At times I can do that, and it’s so beautiful, and at other times I’m this flawed human being who is just scared, who wants to hide; who wants someone to hold her, to love her and to tell her that it’ll be ok.

And I know that if this is me, if this is my experience, even with the knowledge and the tools and the support that I have, I know that you experience this to.

We need to love the most when we feel we deserve it the least ~ anon

Hiding is not loving, and I want to be able to love myself in every moment. I want to be seen in every moment.

I used to think that no-one knew me, the real me, and no-one understood me. I was right. They didn’t, because I didn’t let them. I hid anything that wasn’t perfect, for fear of being rejected. As a result, I felt isolated, misunderstood, and alone. I created the very thing I wanted to avoid, because I hid.

I know you do this too.

We need to love the most when we feel we deserve it the least ~ anon

Love is energy, and energy flows in and flows out. The more you give, the more you get. When you hold back, when you hide, you are cutting off that flow. The way to start it again? Give more; to yourself, to someone else. Start small, get back in the flow, and aim to stay in it. Aim to keep giving, so you can keep receiving.

If it’s scary to reach out ~ and I know it can be ~ show yourself a little love. Do something juicy, just for you ~ maybe a bath, a massage, buying yourself something special, taking yourself out for a delicious meal. Fill up your tank, then turn it outwards ~ start by sending a gratitude card to someone in your life, letting them know how much you love and appreciate them, and why. Buy someone flowers. 

A friend and coach of mine simply just says to his friends I just need you to tell me what you love about me or I just need you to hug me right now. I love this, no need for you to even say what’s bothering you, you can simply ask for what you need and allow others to give it to you. Give it a try and see what happens.

  • Where have you been hiding?
  • How can you love some more, even when you feel you aren’t worthy of it?
  • How can you allow yourself to be seen, just a little more than you are now?

Love

Brooke x

Are you ready to be seen in the most powerful way? Get in touch, I’d love to hold that space for you

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