Envy. Jealousy. The green eyed monster.
These are all bad, negative emotions, right?
Well, actually, they are all just emotions – that is, energy in motion, or a feeling with a thought attached. Emotions are just a sensation in our body, they are neither good, nor bad, they just are.
Unfortunately, we have been led to believe that some emotions are bad, or good, and so we attach meaning, and a story to them.
- “I am unlovable because I am angry”
- “I feel jealous of her/him, so there must be something wrong with me”
- “I can’t be sad or others won’t want to spend time with me”
These stories are what keeps us stuck in the emotion, and because we believe it to be a “bad” emotion, we stay stuck in a shitty place.
We feel jealous, and so we tell ourselves we are a bad person. Then we feel shame and guilt that we aren’t more evolved to not feel the jealousy. We push all of this down, because we don’t want anyone to see this awful part of ourselves, because who could love that? And we end up in a stinking swamp of shame, guilt, jealousy and frustration, because we should know better.
What if there was another way? What if we could feel whatever it is that is coming up for us, without having to name it, or hide it, or go into the story around it?
I think of emotions as teachers. They are a physical sensation within our body, that are telling us something. If we can allow ourselves to fully feel that emotion, and to listen for what it is telling us, we can use it as our guide, and then, let it go.
So now, I love it when I feel jealous. Rather than making my jealousy mean I am somehow “less than” the person I am jealous of, or that they are better than me, I see that my jealousy is showing me something that I want in my life. It’s lit a little spark of recognition within me, that what I’ve seen in someone else is what I want for me. Now I have that clarity, I can set about making that a reality for me.
The coolest part?
We can only recognise something in someone else that we have within ourselves.
Whatever it is you are jealous of, the fact you recognised that in someone else, means you are capable of that, and you already have that within you. The very fact that you desire it means it is absolutely meant for you. Now that you have this recognition, it’s your job to bring that out for the rest of the world to see.
So the next time you feel jealous, be grateful. Grateful for the lesson. Grateful you know now what it is you want, and where you need to be spending your time and energy. Recognise and honour the fact that you already have it within you. And get to work making it your reality!
I would love to hear from you! In the comments below, let me know what it is you are currently feeling jealous about, and what are 3 ways you are going to go about bringing that into your life.
Still feeling yucky? I’d love to help – contact me and let me know what I can do for you.