So often, when faced with a challenging situation, we respond with I don’t know. Stop it! This is such a cop out, and is utterly untrue, in any situation.
In every single moment, you know exactly what you need to move forward.
When you I don’t know, you are hiding. You are avoiding what you know to be true. Acknowledging means you have to act, and acting means you have to get out of your comfort zone ~ maybe have an awkward conversation, maybe say no to something you previously said yes to, maybe you have to start over ~ and that scares you, so you hide.
However, in your hiding, you sign yourself up for greater discomfort. You are saying Yes, I’m happy to sit here in limbo; to give up my power, my freedom of choice, and to hand control over to someone else. I’m happy to wait.
When you say I don’t know you shut down your knowing. In effect, you are rejecting yourself; rejecting what you want, rejecting what you need and rejecting who you are.
You always know what you need, you’ve just forgotten how to listen.
Throughout your life, you have had your knowing taught out of you. You were taught to distrust your feelings, and to place the utmost importance on what you think.
Figure it out ~ Think about it ~ Make sense of this ~ Mull it over
These all ask you to make sense of something; to logically understand and explain, and to do the right thing.
Every second, you are bombarded with millions of different pieces of information. It’s overwhelming! How can you possibly make sense of all that information and figure out what’s right for you, when so much of what you hear conflicts with what you’ve heard before? My brain hurts even thinking about it!
The problem is, what is right for you ~ what you need ~ doesn’t always make sense. In fact, it’s usually the opposite of what makes sense. There’s rarely anything logical about it.
Rather than fighting ~ rather than needing to make sense ~ what if you could just go with it? What if you allowed yourself to know exactly what you need, and then acted on it?
But Brooke! I truly don’t know what I need! I hear you, and I’m calling BS, and I want you to call it also. Stop hiding. You do know.
Think about your options, or your situation, and pay attention to how you feel. Which outcome makes you feel expansive? Which shuts you down? What energises you? What drains you?
Don’t get caught in the details here. You don’t need to figure that out, you just need to know what you want. Let go of the How. (Need help with this? Read this)
If you let yourself know, what would that look like?
Own what you know to be true for you. Let go of the need for your choice to make sense, or to do the right thing by someone else. Don’t do what you should do, do what you want to do. Focus less on how your decision affects someone else, and ask; How does this affect me, and my life?
What is right for you is right for everyone else
…..even if they don’t see it yet and even if someone gets hurt in the process (obviously we’d love it if no-one was ever affected negatively by our choices, but in reality, that rarely happens. Treat everyone with love and respect, but don’t let others’ emotions affect your decision). Always be honest, first with yourself, and then by sharing that with those around you, even if it stings a little now. They’ll thank you in the long run.
I don’t know is powerless. Stop it.
You do know. Allow yourself to know. And then allow yourself to act.
- Where have you been I don’t know-ing yourself?
- What have you been hiding from?
- What are you going to do with that information now?
PS; Still stuck on this? Want help? Get in touch. This is one of my specialties, and I’d love to help you know.