At a young age, I decided that “girly” was weak.
I’d been hurt ~ one of the biggest hurts a young girl could experience ~ & I needed to protect myself.
I needed to be strong. So strong, in fact, that nothing could penetrate me. Because if nothing could penetrate me, nothing could hurt me. Softness was not an option. Gentleness was not an option. Vulnerability was to be avoided at all costs.
And so I toughened up. I built a fortress around myself so solid, that not even the noblest of men, no prince, nor king, could enter.
Physically, I built my body so strong, so capable; one that was admired from afar, but could never be approached, let alone touched or held.
Emotionally, I hardened my heart, creating an impenetrable force field that not even the most powerful superhero in all the world could melt.
I embraced the masculine – that powerful, decisive, forceful, strong energy that resides in all of us. THIS was how I must live if I were to survive. This, and only this.
And I did. Survive that is. I was strong. I was feared. I was a survivor.
And I was also lonely, isolated & sad.
Not only had I repelled anyone who ever wanted to love me, I’d rejected myself. I’d turned away & closed down the very thing that makes me a woman ~ my very essence.
As I began my journey back to myself, I realised how wrong I had been. What I’d created wasn’t strong & powerful; it was weak & afraid & driven by fear. Fear of being seen. Fear of being known. Life was a constant worry about what others would think, & if there would be enough for me.
The only way back was to soften.
Through a willingness to be vulnerable, to ask for help & to speak up when I felt sad or hurt or confused, I found my strength. I’d come home. I didn’t have to pretend that everything was always perfect, because I knew I would be loved for all my flaws. My life became richer; filled with beauty, pleasure, joy and fun. My relationships deepened. I felt more connected, more accepted and more loved than ever. Life became easier, smoother, simpler. I accepted myself and so I was able to accept other women. They weren’t my competition: they were my sisters, and I could finally receive the love and support they wanted to give.
Life didn’t just magically get better, but when the shit hit the fan, I could ask for help, and I could receive it. I could love myself through it, and I could love through it. It felt like magic.
Your strength lies in your feminine.
Embrace her. Call her in. Let go of the need to know & the fight to make something happen. Step back. Slow down. Surrender. Allow whatever is coming for you, to come.
We all need a balance of the masculine and the feminine, but, like I had, the majority of us have come off-centre.
All masculine is all work and no play. Without softening into the feminine, you are unable to receive. You work and work and work and work, but never actually stop to receive the rewards from your efforts. Constantly busy, you don’t hear the soft whispers of your intuition, guiding you to what comes next, and so you push forward, blindly, straight onto the next thing ~ which often turns out to be the wrong thing ~ and you waste time, energy and money. You’re moving so fast, but not actually getting anywhere. There’s no fun left in your life. No joy. No pleasure. No connection. No point.
Constantly operating from the masculine leads to burn out, frustration and dissatisfaction. (sound familiar?)
Are you stressed out? Tired? Fed up? Burnt out? Is there never enough hours in your day? Do you pride yourself on being an over-achiever? A hard worker? Are you a habitual multi-tasker? Do you suffer from poor digestion? When was the last time you had fun? Or just did nothing?
These could all be signs you have been neglecting your feminine, and can explain why you feel like no-one understands the real you.
If you want to be seen, understood and accepted by others, you have to see, understand and accept yourself. You are a woman. A powerful, beautiful, feminine, sensual woman. You are strong and capable. You have the power to change lives, and to change the world. Stop living your life as a man. Leave that to the men (they’re great at it!). The world needs you as the woman you are; soft, juicy, sweet, surrendered, nurturing. We need you.
Your strength lies in your feminine
Invite her back in. Spend time each day playing with her, expressing her, getting to know her, and experience the magic she brings.
Not sure what that would look like? Or where to begin? Check out these posts on the different qualities of masculine and feminine, and see which ones you can infuse back into your life
Still unsure? I would love to help! Reclaiming the feminine is one of my favourite ways to work with successful women, and one of the most powerful things you can do for your body, your relationships, your sex life, and your career or business. Let’s talk.
- What’s your experience of the feminine?
- Where have you been neglecting yourself?
- What traits can you call back in, today, to step more into her grace?